when i first started becoming aware - which i am still every day - i had no more clue than an inner feeling of
"there is something not feeling right and i need to talk about it with other people"
soon i discovered the positive impact the process had and is having on my mental growth
and i must say i used becoming-aware-about-me-being-white a bit to "find myself"
no need to worry, all important milestones along the way
and i am so grateful to the community and friends that did some emotional labour for me along the way. I appreciate it so much and looking out how to give back (well actually, that's a next step goal - doesn't need to be a one on one - not quite there yet, but i am going to be)
but, without me trying most of my days to become more aware about how me personally is impacted by racism and learning to become a better ally
- and i need to mention it again because we white folks tend to forget too easily that it is an ongoing process without a destination - i wouldn't feel so good while failing my parenting goals.
sounds weird, isn't it?
but it isn't
one of the things that being white is teaching me
is the fact that there are many blind spots
things i am not aware of
while probably thinking "i am doing sooooo good"
because we all want to be and want to do and like to think..
...that we are good.
we are. but many times we are not.
allowing MistAKEs to come to the surface
is important to change for better
not rocket science. easy in theory.
it makes sense.
thus, while i was thinking my little one is doing so great
in his motor skill development
because i am - and we are - so much
crazy in love with this little human being
we as parent made a huge mistake
we were sitting him instead of letting him develop it by himself
because he liked it so much to look from a bit higher
(see, there are always reason why our intentions aren't bad)
we were not aware that we were robbing him off
the opportunity to learn it himself
which also has an overall impact on his brain development
plus, he couldn't develop the muscles to crawl
even more horrible
we started make him walk these days
before him being able to get in a sitting position himself
we thought "he can sit"
that was also when i read that now we can stop doing baby exercise because they are going to develop naturally
yes, that is exactly what babies are doing
when parents can manage not to intervene
and it was so adorable that he played so calmly on his own
all these MistAKEs are hurting deeply
and we could have just ignored it
when a friend asked me
"is he sitting properly?"
i am learning not to get immediately into defending modus
and instead looking for something that resonates with me
and see, i did some research and now we can adjust our wrong doing
isn't that amazing?
i am so grateful for everyone who is helping me and also giving me the hint to start developing more self initiative to do more emotional labour myself
regarding to my process of white awareness
thanks for making me a better parent
now we can go a few steps back
and give him some more time and space
helping him learning it on his own
just saying ENTSCHLEUNIGUNG!
#onelove
"there is something not feeling right and i need to talk about it with other people"
soon i discovered the positive impact the process had and is having on my mental growth
and i must say i used becoming-aware-about-me-being-white a bit to "find myself"
no need to worry, all important milestones along the way
and i am so grateful to the community and friends that did some emotional labour for me along the way. I appreciate it so much and looking out how to give back (well actually, that's a next step goal - doesn't need to be a one on one - not quite there yet, but i am going to be)
but, without me trying most of my days to become more aware about how me personally is impacted by racism and learning to become a better ally
- and i need to mention it again because we white folks tend to forget too easily that it is an ongoing process without a destination - i wouldn't feel so good while failing my parenting goals.
sounds weird, isn't it?
but it isn't
one of the things that being white is teaching me
is the fact that there are many blind spots
things i am not aware of
while probably thinking "i am doing sooooo good"
because we all want to be and want to do and like to think..
...that we are good.
we are. but many times we are not.
allowing MistAKEs to come to the surface
is important to change for better
not rocket science. easy in theory.
it makes sense.
thus, while i was thinking my little one is doing so great
in his motor skill development
because i am - and we are - so much
crazy in love with this little human being
we as parent made a huge mistake
we were sitting him instead of letting him develop it by himself
because he liked it so much to look from a bit higher
(see, there are always reason why our intentions aren't bad)
we were not aware that we were robbing him off
the opportunity to learn it himself
which also has an overall impact on his brain development
plus, he couldn't develop the muscles to crawl
even more horrible
we started make him walk these days
before him being able to get in a sitting position himself
we thought "he can sit"
that was also when i read that now we can stop doing baby exercise because they are going to develop naturally
yes, that is exactly what babies are doing
when parents can manage not to intervene
and it was so adorable that he played so calmly on his own
all these MistAKEs are hurting deeply
and we could have just ignored it
when a friend asked me
"is he sitting properly?"
i am learning not to get immediately into defending modus
and instead looking for something that resonates with me
and see, i did some research and now we can adjust our wrong doing
isn't that amazing?
i am so grateful for everyone who is helping me and also giving me the hint to start developing more self initiative to do more emotional labour myself
regarding to my process of white awareness
thanks for making me a better parent
now we can go a few steps back
and give him some more time and space
helping him learning it on his own
just saying ENTSCHLEUNIGUNG!
#onelove