along the process of becoming aware
of racism and injustice in its many forms.
but this realization doesn't mean that i am
able to do as i wish all the time
because human
today i was talking to someone
who loves me deeply but often doesn't understand me
or better said,
who understands me partially very well and let this fact
be the wrong guide in assuming she knows me,
like every aspect.
a family member.
one of the people i love most,
in the world.
anyhow, i managed to filter her perception of me
to get some information out of it
really, i find it quite challenging,
literally all the time,
to understand people.
i am so irritated by their constant violence and judgments
that i often feel unable to get the actual information.
anyhow, i could see through it
and remembered that i indeed have all the confidence
i am searching all around.
i also have the "i don't care"-attitude that i need
when i am about to bring the change
i want to see in the world
obviously not alone,
i am not thaaaat narcissistic.
just contributing my all.
but now i can see
what was holding me back,
all those years.
it just begun,
that i learn to see through what they say
to look beyond,
but i am about to become so much more
the way i want to be.
i am grateful
deeply.
and,
at the same time,
i am grateful,
that i am looking deeper
able to allow myself
seeing that...
...my judgment of others
and about myself
i still,
often too harsh.
i am grateful
she reminded me
that
we make mistakes
we are all humans.
just because i see
sometimes,
connected dots
which can be murderous
doesn't mean that i shouldn't
feel more love
don't have an approach for that lesson yet
but i am confident
it is going to fall into its place soon.
let me know if you have any recommendations.