most of us have ideas of how we are and how we are supposed to be
it doesn't necessarily come from other people telling us something
often, we make the frames ourselves
that can be 'good' or 'bad'
i experienced
that whenever i want to change something
this idea in my head how i want to be
helped me much in achieving goals
for example
main goal: being a kind human
lesson: awareness about racism
if i wouldn't have had that frame
of how i want to be
in my heart and head
i probably wouldn't still pursue
trying to keep becoming more aware
every day
on the other hand,
main goal: being a kind human
lesson: contribute fully with a useful career
this frame stressed me a lot
until i figured out that I may not be
a person who will find her
one thing
and that it may be more important
how i do things
but even in this purpose
it can become super stressful
or even more
this image of being a kind human
is just too stressful
moreover
whenever one image was disillusioned
it was immediately replaced
by another idea
how to be more kind
better
in the end, i am still the same person
i may was innocent as child
but trying to re-catch this innocence?
all i know is that i am not a child anymore
i compare myself with other people
because i see how they talk with less violence
or act more actively in kindness
and many more examples
and i learn from them
but i am questioning
do i really changing essentially?
or comprehend their teachings in my life?
recently, i re-realised that i have to accept
that parts of me are deeply rooted
in selfishness and ego-centrism
by being strongly focused
on changing for better
i am implying that
i am constantly
not good enough
with a need to apologising
to myself
that i can never reach the goals
i framed
on the other hand
letting go
allowing every emotion to take over
made me imbalanced
and blind
i try not to feel guilty about
what i don't like about me
being a human in this world
trying to stay focused and positive
but i just keep on ending up
stressing myself about
painting a picture
into the frame
but maybe
instead of focusing on kindness in others
to learn from them
it's about time
to trust myself
to listen to my inner voice
we all have been born in love and light
this is our essence
i believe
it will always remain
in us
why not trusting more
listening to my heart
more often
also
i can allow emotions to be presence
to acknowledge them
but i am allowing myself
to not always act according to them
becoming aware
saying hello to the emotion
and moving beyond
i am allowed to learn from others
but i shouldn't allow myself
to compare myself with them
beating me down
with a feeling
of not being good enough
right now
i am not feeling happy
with building frames anymore
principles and core values?
jes
awareness and reflection?
sure
but pushing into matching?
it isn't about time
to cut to fit in
right now
it's time to grow
into
maybe some paintings
are more beautiful
by being painted
over the frame
anyways
it doesn't necessarily come from other people telling us something
often, we make the frames ourselves
that can be 'good' or 'bad'
i experienced
that whenever i want to change something
this idea in my head how i want to be
helped me much in achieving goals
for example
main goal: being a kind human
lesson: awareness about racism
if i wouldn't have had that frame
of how i want to be
in my heart and head
i probably wouldn't still pursue
trying to keep becoming more aware
every day
on the other hand,
main goal: being a kind human
lesson: contribute fully with a useful career
this frame stressed me a lot
until i figured out that I may not be
a person who will find her
one thing
and that it may be more important
how i do things
but even in this purpose
it can become super stressful
or even more
this image of being a kind human
is just too stressful
moreover
whenever one image was disillusioned
it was immediately replaced
by another idea
how to be more kind
better
in the end, i am still the same person
i may was innocent as child
but trying to re-catch this innocence?
all i know is that i am not a child anymore
i compare myself with other people
because i see how they talk with less violence
or act more actively in kindness
and many more examples
and i learn from them
but i am questioning
do i really changing essentially?
or comprehend their teachings in my life?
recently, i re-realised that i have to accept
that parts of me are deeply rooted
in selfishness and ego-centrism
by being strongly focused
on changing for better
i am implying that
i am constantly
not good enough
with a need to apologising
to myself
that i can never reach the goals
i framed
on the other hand
letting go
allowing every emotion to take over
made me imbalanced
and blind
i try not to feel guilty about
what i don't like about me
being a human in this world
trying to stay focused and positive
but i just keep on ending up
stressing myself about
painting a picture
into the frame
but maybe
instead of focusing on kindness in others
to learn from them
it's about time
to trust myself
to listen to my inner voice
we all have been born in love and light
this is our essence
i believe
it will always remain
in us
why not trusting more
listening to my heart
more often
also
i can allow emotions to be presence
to acknowledge them
but i am allowing myself
to not always act according to them
becoming aware
saying hello to the emotion
and moving beyond
i am allowed to learn from others
but i shouldn't allow myself
to compare myself with them
beating me down
with a feeling
of not being good enough
right now
i am not feeling happy
with building frames anymore
principles and core values?
jes
awareness and reflection?
sure
but pushing into matching?
it isn't about time
to cut to fit in
right now
it's time to grow
into
maybe some paintings
are more beautiful
by being painted
over the frame
anyways