the last months have been
extraordinary stressful
on many different levels
and at the same time
super enriching
no huge and long list needed
but
there have been
huge dramas
while trying to manage
to get married
we are talking about an international wedding
last minute
in Germany
it is a miracle we made it
really
i started not to worry about
small things
in daily life
i had no idea
what a daily life drama queen
i am allowed to say that
nobody else!
i was
before we had all the
trouble with e.g.
missed flights
lack of sleep
missing and wrong information
traveling back and forth
friends driving to other offices
collecting more missing documents
administrational battles
taxis to catch documents
...from the translator
...in the middle of the night
almost last minute not getting married
but finally everything being wonderful
it must be mentioned that
there was always
a helping hand
more friendly and supportive
human beings
than average
thus
in comparison
missing a bus
or another kind of
steppingstone
really
became nothing
just another step
along the way
it was not easy
but i definitely learned
to be more relaxed
..calm down..
about daily life stuff*
*and yes, if you must know before untangling the knot i was punishing myself for the level of drama queen awareness i already had about myself, especially in comparison to other people's life struggles. so glad i finally can let go, more, of this huge amount of guilt
and still i am
very often
calm in daily life stuff
i really feel that
nothing is so overwhelmingly important
as it felt before
less fear
day by day
more
#graciasadios
afterwards
we had some other struggles
with external circumstances
like normal life stuff
but
after a while
it all became a lot
and it leads to an
illumination
realisation
of huge miscommunications
different understandings
2 people stuff
good thing
i like being married to this person
i maybe wouldn't be
if we wouldn't have got
wrong impressions
about each other
#grateful
but the inner drama following it
felt world rocking
it was affecting
everything
on top
bad timing
it all
it just happened
a new insight
but
i have the feeling
untangling this knot
was a huge
breakthrough
i already feel
more calm
regards to other aspects
like
emotions
and
hope for more
soon
but i am very confident
i will be
more able to
love and accept
the other person
in this team
now
and i can already sense
soon
i have to love myself
even more
extraordinary stressful
on many different levels
and at the same time
super enriching
no huge and long list needed
but
there have been
huge dramas
while trying to manage
to get married
we are talking about an international wedding
last minute
in Germany
it is a miracle we made it
really
i started not to worry about
small things
in daily life
i had no idea
what a daily life drama queen
i am allowed to say that
nobody else!
i was
before we had all the
trouble with e.g.
missed flights
lack of sleep
missing and wrong information
traveling back and forth
friends driving to other offices
collecting more missing documents
administrational battles
taxis to catch documents
...from the translator
...in the middle of the night
almost last minute not getting married
but finally everything being wonderful
it must be mentioned that
there was always
a helping hand
more friendly and supportive
human beings
than average
thus
in comparison
missing a bus
or another kind of
steppingstone
really
became nothing
just another step
along the way
it was not easy
but i definitely learned
to be more relaxed
..calm down..
about daily life stuff*
*and yes, if you must know before untangling the knot i was punishing myself for the level of drama queen awareness i already had about myself, especially in comparison to other people's life struggles. so glad i finally can let go, more, of this huge amount of guilt
and still i am
very often
calm in daily life stuff
i really feel that
nothing is so overwhelmingly important
as it felt before
less fear
day by day
more
#graciasadios
afterwards
we had some other struggles
with external circumstances
like normal life stuff
but
after a while
it all became a lot
and it leads to an
illumination
realisation
of huge miscommunications
different understandings
2 people stuff
good thing
i like being married to this person
i maybe wouldn't be
if we wouldn't have got
wrong impressions
about each other
#grateful
but the inner drama following it
felt world rocking
it was affecting
everything
on top
bad timing
it all
it just happened
a new insight
but
i have the feeling
untangling this knot
was a huge
breakthrough
i already feel
more calm
regards to other aspects
like
emotions
and
hope for more
soon
but i am very confident
i will be
more able to
love and accept
the other person
in this team
now
and i can already sense
soon
i have to love myself
even more
PS:
i have a tendency
to always
involve other people
in my drama
obviously
i don't want to do that
but who knows
i sense a very uncertain feeling
that i may transform this
one day
i am allowing myself
day by day
more
that one goal
one day in the future
may be
becoming a life coach
but first
i still have to listen to myself
to be sure that i am willing
to do the work
and more
PS:
sometimes
i wonder
why my relationship
is so important for me
I mean there are different kind of people
for some love, agape or romantic love is
more important than other gifts of life
and vice versa
and that's beautiful
because life is diversity
well
for me
love in all its aspects
was always what i wanted to know
the most
about life
and
it is okay
even if
i am feeling like a slow learner
right now
despite that huge urge to
learn and grow
in and with
love
but i am also very confident
which i am rarely
that I can do magic
as fast as a cheetah
can run
oh yeah, i love these 3 lines
after
#untanglingknots
anyways
as a feminist
obviously i did never want
to define myself via a man
but i would always
give a partner much space
in my life
finally
i freed myself so much
from expectations
that i know
as much as one can know
that i chose it
with confidence
my love life will be priority
and it is a beautiful
gift
i have a tendency
to always
involve other people
in my drama
obviously
i don't want to do that
but who knows
i sense a very uncertain feeling
that i may transform this
one day
i am allowing myself
day by day
more
that one goal
one day in the future
may be
becoming a life coach
but first
i still have to listen to myself
to be sure that i am willing
to do the work
and more
PS:
sometimes
i wonder
why my relationship
is so important for me
I mean there are different kind of people
for some love, agape or romantic love is
more important than other gifts of life
and vice versa
and that's beautiful
because life is diversity
well
for me
love in all its aspects
was always what i wanted to know
the most
about life
and
it is okay
even if
i am feeling like a slow learner
right now
despite that huge urge to
learn and grow
in and with
love
but i am also very confident
which i am rarely
that I can do magic
as fast as a cheetah
can run
oh yeah, i love these 3 lines
after
#untanglingknots
anyways
as a feminist
obviously i did never want
to define myself via a man
but i would always
give a partner much space
in my life
finally
i freed myself so much
from expectations
that i know
as much as one can know
that i chose it
with confidence
my love life will be priority
and it is a beautiful
gift